Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Love, love me do

I was reading the most recent Entertainment Weekly, specifically reading the article on Michael Chabon. In it they referenced his author wife Ayelet Waldman and her refreshingly honest essay printed in both the New York Times and in a book, in which she confesses that she is in love with her husband, but not her children. I have a friend whose adult child has accused her of this very thing. Since I don't have children yet I can't really accurately comment on this. I am in love with my husband although I confess I am also in love with my dog, and his soft ears and gentle manner. I caught myself worrying about him running in the road one day, and I felt sick about what would happen to him. He's a lovely curmudgeon, willing to bark at anything that gets close to the house, but is mild around small kids and does actually come when I call him. He reminds me of Ladybird on King of the Hill.

I don't know if it is fair to compare love vs. in love with concerning relationships. It seems like the status changes as people grow older, and cope with the conflicts they have personally. I admire Waldman's honesty, since my experiences with my nephews and other children close to me tells me that my patience does have an end. Take our FAK, for example. He will be with us again this summer and although at times I thought we would never make it through the 2 weeks last year, he really loved being here and genuinely missed us.


Malathionman said...

You won't how you will feel about kids until you have them. They WILL change you.

CBK said...

The bad thing about that article, and all the reporting on Waldman's essay I've seen, is that they say she claimed to love her husband more than her kids, without the "love/in love" distinction.

I lose patience with my wife almost as often as with my kids. And she loses patience with me even more often. On the flip side of Waldman's point, I can imagine falling out of love with my wife should certain horrible things occur, but I will never not love my children.