Correspondence

I received a letter last Monday from Ireland. It was the first letter I had received in over 2 years, from my mother-in law. I'm not sure what to call her. Ex mother-in law seems strong, but there isn't a real bond there anymore and I am no longer married to her son. The last one I received from her contained a card with my dead husband's face on it. It read "The family and wife of Timothy X wish to thank you for your prayers and condolences." There was no note, just this small card with a picture of him that I took at Sand Beach at Acadia National Park, and some passage from the bible on the back. Being his wife, I was surprised to get the card. It seemed shocking since the communication I had from her between his death and that point was seeing her at his funeral, and 2 phone calls.

The letter told me that he still did not have a stone at his grave, because not everyone in his family was ready yet. She mentioned his birthday date twice, which L found hilarious. She must have thought I had forgotten. She also wrote how Tim was guiding her through her life, how he was a good son, and husband. This is where I pause and want to tell her that he was selfish, angry, and impulsive. He was suspicious of everyone and their intentions, and I allowed myself to be consumed. He could be cruel, and did not trust me. Of course, he was human. He had many good qualities, and I loved him.

I took a breath and wrote her a polite note back, acknowledging her birthday, which is exactly 1 month before his. I also said I had been wondering about the stone and told her that I hope to go back to the UK when it is financially feasible, so that I can visit the grave. I sealed the note and sent it off.