Tuesday, March 13, 2007

How disappointing

I picked up a copy of Diane Arbus, a biography of the photographer by Patricia Bosworth. It reminded me of a past time. I went to see an exhibit of her work on July 16, 2004 at the Portland Museum of Art. This was 1 day before my birthday. I saw a poster for the exhibition at work, and put my name on it since I was taken by the image on the poster and I wanted to frame it. Someone took the poster before I could take it home. I was sad about that.

I met my best friend at the museum and we walked through the exhibit. I learned that Diane Arbus' husband was Allan Arbus, the actor who played the strangely soothing psychiatrist Sidney Freedman on M*A*S*H*. Some argued that Arbus exploited people whose fragility (both emotional and physical) was difficult to miss in her photographs. That day my fragile self showed off my new tattoo, a gift to myself for my 30th birthday. I talked about about new friendships, starting over, and what it meant to be 30. We ate at a vegetarian restaurant and talked and I felt uneasy. We parted at a local supermarket where we initially met, and a man approached us. He said his car broke down and he needed money to get it fixed. I looked at my friend and apologized to the man, but I felt there was something very wrong with him, and his needs were way beyond some spare change.

Sometimes I feel disappointment too deeply. I think Diane Arbus did too.

1 comment:

tara said...

I remember that day vividly, too.