Sunday, October 15, 2006

Fleas fled, hopefully, and forgiveness

I am happy to report no new sightings of fleas.

I feel slightly heartsick today, probably because we went out last night and I got to sleep in this morning and L had to go to an early training. I've confided in him that there are times that I worry that I fill our free time with stuff, and he has no choice in the matter. We went to Portland last night to see Great Big Sea, a Celtic band from New Foundland. They sing shanties and Celtic influenced songs. I liked it, but it reminded me of old times and I felt sad and heartsick then too. I thought of a pub in Wexford where Tim twirled me round and round. He taught me how to do one dance which we practiced in my parent's living room and so when given the opportunity, he spun me and flung me and I willingly flew. I don't dance too much anymore, but would like to. I went to church this morning, which has helped ground me. My heartache also has to do with an e-mail I received yesterday from my sister-in-law.

It makes me pause and think that the most constructive thing to do, besides confronting her at some point with the difficult stuff that I unfortunately had to go through because of her inaction, is to forgive her. The pain she lives with daily is enough without me growing more angry and muddled about what to say or do. Our communication consists of quarterly e-mails and as far as I am concerned, the next step in my new life is forgiving and not forgetting. It feels liberating, although something will no doubt trigger my old misanthropic feelings tomorrow and this mirthful feeling may disappear. I found this interesting organization who are working toward the big F in the world. This reminds me of a film I saw called The Laughing Club of India by Mira Nair. My last bout of laughter was last week when I watched the first season of Dr. Katz Professional Therapist. I love Squigglevision.

I was thrilled to read in the paper today that Marjane Satrapi will be in Augusta on Thursday. She's the Iranian author of Persepolis (1 & 2), and Embroideries. I consider these personal and political memoirs. Besides these graphic novels for adults, she has written other children's books. This kind of event reminds me of what I had at my disposal in Boston. Culture seems to be coming north of Portland. I forgive you, Maine, for being so slow to progress at times.

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