Hard questions

I nearly pushed L over the brink tonight with a question that is almost equivalent to "Do I look fat in these?" I actually asked him if he thought I was an interesting person. It wasn't very fair of me to ask this of him, but I've been thinking about something I said to my boss, and her response to me. She was talking about her hairdresser and I said that I hated the chit-chat between hairdresser and client, that I don't really believe it is sincere and I often feel it's like a conversation they repeat all day. She told me that she has been going to the same hairdresser for 15 years and she knows all about her life. I suddenly thought, "My god, I am a social miscreant. I don't make bonds with people, I question their sincerity and I don't think I'm that interesting anyway."

You see I don't really believe that hairdressers care about where I work, what I am doing for Easter, or if I am married. I always felt that they were under some sort of obligation to talk to me. I can almost imagine a class in cosmetology school where they prompt students on these types of conversations, similar to students getting a degree in funeral service. I really would love to tell my hairdresser that it's okay to not do this, that she doesn't need to pretend to like me. My hairdresser is 24 and has a smoker's voice like Marge's sisters on The Simpsons. Jenni is her name. She waxes my eyebrows for 5 bucks and she does tell me nice things, like my hair has a really beautiful natural color.

Suspicion comes naturally to me. I don't ask the hard questions sometimes, and I don't answer them often.